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Moments in life that just make you go, "FUCK!"

We all have them - those moments where something happens and your first reaction is some type of swear word. That is what happened when I found out on Sunday evening that one of our dear mothers in my close-knit mama group called Momtourage, or Warriors in Yoga Pants, passed away suddenly and unexpectedly from complications of Addison's Disease. Her name is Carrie Decker, and she is loved by many. She leaves behind two small daughters, a loving husband, siblings, cousins, and so many more family and friends.


Selfie taken by Jenay Frost, while Ubering to our rented house in Nashville


I had only met Carrie on our moms trip to Nashville two months ago, spending a weekend together having fun and letting loose. It is interesting how clearly memories come flooding back when someone passes away. When they are no longer here, suddenly our brain is filled with visions of when they were. I remembered meeting Carrie and her cousin/best friend Jenay on the airplane, Carrie's head poking out from behind me to say hi. I remembered Carrie taking my yoga class that I led the first morning we were there in Nashville, wearing her little moccasins, and me helping her with poses. Jenay and I even laughed tonight while reminiscing about it - how Carrie struggled with simple poses and I felt badly because I didn't want her to feel insecure. I remembered sitting next to Carrie on the pedal tavern, witnessing her having the time of her life, trying to coax our pedal tavern guy to keep going well after we were supposed to get off.


I was so honored to guide these amazing women through yoga. Carrie is on the top left.


I knew her for such a short time, but in that amount of time, she left an impression. She lived loudly, largely, and unapologetically, much like myself. I admired that in her, and I loved seeing the bond that she and Jenay had as cousins meant to be sisters.


My current soundtrack is the yoga playlist that I used in Nashville for our practice. I can see Carrie's face and feel her spiritual presence, as we practiced on the rooftop of our rented house that morning, the rain sprinkling our faces as we finished in savasana. It makes me smile as I type.


Unfortunately I have attended far too many funerals over the past few years, but Carrie Decker's death brings back painful memories of another dear friend named Carrie (Noble) who passed away 11 years ago from cancer. Carrie Noble had the brightest smile and the best laugh, and her personality was so genuine and sincere. I will never forget how loving and non-judgmental she treated me after finding out that I had been raped on a trip to New York. She was almost like a big sister to me.

Carrie N & I at Relay for Life


Carrie Noble and I worked together at the Doubletree Dearborn. After working together for a short time, Carrie informed me that she was a breast cancer survivor. We did a couple Relay for Life walks together, camping out overnight with close friends. Unfortunately Carrie's cancer metastasized into her lungs and then her brain. I shudder to think about it. She was only 34 years old when she died. Carrie was my big sis at work who would eat Lean Pockets with me and watch Jeopardy or Family Feud during our lunch time. We went out together, shared secrets, family drama, and intimate gatherings. I miss her every day and am convinced she is one of my guardian angels who has kept me alive for the last several years despite my rocky path and questionable decisions.


Carrie Noble left behind two small children too, who are now teenagers/young adults. In fact, when I saw her daughter for the first time in several years at Carrie's mother's funeral a couple of years ago, it was everything I could do to not burst into tears, for she reminded me so much of Carrie. I have no doubt that she will leave an imprint on this world just as big as Carrie's, as I know that Carrie Decker's beautiful girls will too.


Anyone who met either Carrie was a lucky person. May both Carries rest in peace and their families and loved ones be wrapped in comfort and love. For anyone wanting to do something in Carrie Decker's honor, the family is asking for memorial contributions to the National Adrenal Disease Foundation, www.nadf.us.



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